Corrupt-a-Wish

[Hickory]

Granted! You live to see everyone you had ever come to know and love die.

[James Gryphon]

Granted. A giant cleaning lady with a giant vacuum comes and draws you up into a giant trash bag. You spend the rest of your life surrounded by dust and debris.

I wish that I didn't have a headache.

[Dibbun Against Bedtime]

Granted. Instead of a headache, you know have Ebola.

I wish I could fly in the sky 3 hundred million miles high with no protection and still be comfortable.

[James Gryphon]

Granted; you are perfectly comfortable as you slowly fall towards the sun.

I wish there was ice in the ice dispenser.

[Dibbun Against Bedtime]

Granted. You find Vanilla Ice in your ice dispenser.

I wish I was the swishiest fish in the entire ocean.

[Izeroth]

 Granted. You're the swishiest fish in the entire ocean, surpassing all other fish in the amount of noise you make with your fins. The swishing noise you make is so loud, in fact, that it attracts all sorts of sharks to your position. You can imagine what happens next.

I wish I owned an impenetrable castle.

[James Gryphon]

Granted. Hordes of peasants want your head, so you run into your castle to hide. All of their attacks, including a catapult, fail to penetrate your castle's invulnerable defenses. Unfortunately, air can't penetrate them either, and you suffocate to death while waiting for the siege to end.

I wish that I never lost.

[Dibbun Against Bedtime]

Granted. You never lose anything, including your life, so everyone you love and care about dies.

I wish I was a big whale in a peaceful ocean with no killing.

[Skyblade]

Granted. However, as the ocean contains no incidents of killing, predators cannot capture and eat their usual prey. Slowly but steadily, marine animals at the top of the food chain such as sharks and leopard deals die from starvation.

The inevitable result is that any creature in your ocean that relies on meat for food is eventually dead. As it turns out, you were transformed into an orca, which is a top predator. You die along with the other animals that no longer could kill to eat.


I wish I got a perfect score on all of my IB tests, AP tests, EOC, SAT, and ACT.

[James Gryphon]

Granted. You're thrilled and go out to an ice cream parlor to celebrate. The ice cream is contaminated with listeria. Two months from now, you get sick and go to the hospital. They say that you're sick from listeria and that you will get better eventually. Unfortunately, while you're at the hospital, you see an old friend who's there with something. You hug them, and catch something from them. You get sick from that, and have to go back to the hospital. While you're at the hospital again, the same thing happens again. This goes on and on, and MSNBC writes a story about you, the chronically sick person, and uses your tragic case to spin a narrative about incompetent medical care (even though it's your own fault for hugging all these sick people). The doctors at the hospital, all angry at the negative publicity, deliberately misdiagnose your most recent case, and you die of rhinovirus.

I wish that I earned a billion dollars a year.

[Dibbun Against Bedtime]

Granted. The U.S. Economy enters into a very bad period, and soon it turns to where 15 billion dollars is equal to 1 Colombian peso. You are incredibly poor.

I wish I could fly as a swallow and have no animals attack me.

[Izeroth]

 Granted. No animals attack you. Windows... are a different story.

I wish I had a solar-powered phone.

[LT Sandpaw]

Granted! However you get your phone during a very bad year for the weather. Its constantly cloudy wherever you go so your phone which doesn't have a plug soon runs out of battery. It is two more years by the time its not cloudy anymore and by that time you forgot where your phone is.


I wish I could develop safe instant teleportation for public use. And then claim it as mine and sell it for millions of dollars.

[rrrrr]

Granted. You get murdered by a robber who wants your money and then teleports inside your house.

Wish I can have watershrimp n' hotroot soup.

[Dibbun Against Bedtime]

Granted. You have it, but also contract TB while you eat.

I wish I could live inside a chicken.