Corrupt-a-Wish

[SilentSam]

Granted, but it explodes once it flies.
I wish I could live longer than everyone in the world.

[Delthion]

Granted, you become like a Timelord. The last one and forever lonely, all of your friends and family have long since died out, your family line has died out.

I wish that I would finish writing my book by December.

[SilentSam]

Granted, but you rush so no one will like it.
I wish that I could finish my project today.

[James Gryphon]

Granted, but it was due yesterday.

I wish I had three bags of chips and three jars of hot salsa.

[Izeroth]

 Granted. The salsa is so hot that it burns your tongue off.

I wish that I had a hexagonal trapezoid.

[LT Sandpaw]

Granted but its the size of a skin cell

I wish I had ten more wishes

[Søren]

granted, but you had -10 in the first place.
I wish I had a space station like DS9 all to myself.

[Delthion]

Granted, the reason it is all to your self is because all life support has failed and everyone has evacuated, leaving you to suffocate.

I wish that my sister was less demanding.

[James Gryphon]

Granted; now she's a total pushover. Everyone she comes into contact with recognizes this and are able to persuade her to go along with terrible ideas. Her prospects of a good career and life are ruined because of your selfish wish.

I wish all this laundry was done.

[Delthion]

Granted, all of the laundry in your house is done for, it has all been burned, this includes what you are wearing now. 

I wish that more people were active on the forum.

[LT Sandpaw]

Me too

I wish to be all knowing.

[SilentSam]

Granted, but you know everything VERY BAD OR DISTURBING too.

I wish I could be magical. AND HAVE REAL MAGIC THAT I COULD USE TO DO SPELLS.

[LT Sandpaw]

Granted but you have to go to people and grant all of them their wishes for eternity.

I wish to be a star,
And I will go so far.
To be all humble,
And never stumble.
Please grant me this,
My final Wish.
that all the pain,
and evil fame,
for all  do tame.
So understand why I ask,
from you I do task.
is what I wish for you.

[Delthion]

Granted, but you burn out.

I wish that we would watch Blue Bloods instead of Hotel Impossible.

[Søren]

Granted, but you get too watch two seconds of it before your tv explodes.
I wish that I could be on time.