Corrupt-a-Wish

[Tungro]

it is not even me and him, it is (so they think) me and Sheev.

His is try to do the same thing I was doing to you (of course it is not working)

You get a mermaid, but like in the original legends she seduces all the males of the family, drags them into the sea and eats them one by one...

I wish I could come up with a presentation idea for school

[The Witessss]

no love lost.

you come up with a presentation, but it is the lamest on the planet. ever.

I wish you would all get mauled by tigers.

[Sebias of Redwall]

Granted, but Seb managed to survive and now haunts you for the rest of your life.

I wish I had Wites would hurry up and marry Tungro or Sheeve. 

[Tungro]

I wish I had Wites would hurry up and marry Tungro or Sheeve. 

(It is all waiting for Del) Wite marries Sheevie but her dowry is your head on a platter

I wish I had a husky

[Sebias of Redwall]

Granted, but your husky is really mean and bites you! 

I wish that one day I could make a really good Redwall movie.

[The Witessss]

you make a good Redwall movie but it is never shown to the public.

I wish I could live my life and not have to listen to you guys trying to make me get married! 

[Sebias of Redwall]

granted, but now you die of boredom.

I wish I could run as fast as a bullet.

[The Witessss]

You can now run as fast as a bullet, but you then realize that time slows down your aging process. all your friends have moved on with their lives, but you are still a teenager.

I wish that I could breath underwater.

[Sebias of Redwall]

granted, but it's only temporary.

I wish i could make gold out of rocks.

[The Witessss]

it is called spray paint.

I wish I was better at ventriloquism.

[Sebias of Redwall]

granted, but now you can't stop using your new found gift, and your family banishes you for finding it annoying. 

I wish i could have Captain America's powers.

[The Witessss]

you have CA powers, but are killed fighting someone because they are just stronger than you because they have his brains, too. 

I wish all cats would be  outlawed from this world.

[Sebias of Redwall]

granted 

I wish I had Gandalf's brain and powers

[The Witessss]

the point is to grant it but turn it bad.

you become Gandolf but only for 1 second, then you turn into the lamest, most insincere, annoying person possible.

I wish you all became flying cows. 

[Sebias of Redwall]

I know.

We become crows but then we peck you to death.
I wish I was as cool as Samwise Gamgee, (Though I probably am, haha)