Corrupt-a-Wish

[Rosie Willowwater]

Granted! You now have all the knowledge in the world witch drives you insane, so you commit suicide, and no one mourns your death. 

I wish that I could sleep for a million years

[James Gryphon]

Granted, but you still age. At the end of it, the second you wake up, you die.

I wish that my body, clothes, bed, mattress, sheets, blankets, pillows and pillowcases were always 100% clean, without anything else in the world being made less clean as a result of this wish.

[Dotti Dillworthy]

Granted, but everything would be scraped away clean. Even your body would be melted away to the point of reduction to a skeletal state.

I wish that I could fly like a kite and try to be free like a bird.

[Lady Ashenwyte]

Granted. However, since you don't know how to fly well, you crash into the first skyscraper you come across and die. GG.

I wish that the next response has a long story.

[Hickory]

Granted. The post stretches the word limit, whereupon I hack the server to tweak a mod, allowing me to finish my post. However, the tweak is left unrepaired until James conducts a routine cleaning of the server code. He fixes the tweak I made, and continues on. However, I continue tweaking it again and again for various (legitimate) reasons, and it annoys James. I'm banned for a short amount of time. However, this slows several threads that I am a key part of to a standstill, which furthers the lit on inactivity on the forums during the past week.

Member leave increases. Soon, the forum has slowed to a halt and no longer supports life, except for dedicated members. Suddenly, around the beginning of the school year, here's a large influx of new and returning members. The forum crashes for a day or two, causing mass chaos. After it gets back up, I'm unbanned and life returns to normal.

I wish the forum would crash.

[Dotti Dillworthy]

Granted, but the memory of it would become one of your greatest nightmares that you couldn't escape.

I wish I would be whisked away to the world of my dreams.

[James Gryphon]

Granted. You live in a strange, strange world. In between running away from unseen predators and monsters and spontaneously appearing on and falling from incredible heights, you experience dental trouble unknown in our world, losing numerous teeth virtually every day, and frequently tend to realize upon arriving places that you forgot to wear clothes.

I wish that another staff member was online, and ready to reply to my posts.

[Delthion]

Granted! There is a hateful vengeful member that you make to be a staff member, they constantly SPAM and find a way to remove your adminship. They take over the forum and your identity, and ruin your reputation forever.

I wish that I had an uncorruptable wish for anything that I want.

[James Gryphon]

Granted. In fact, I'm such a nice guy, I'll do you one better: You can make as many wishes as you want, and they won't be corrupted! Unfortunately, your wishes won't make those things so.

I wish that I never needed to rest.

[Groddil]

Granted. Pure energy never needs to rest after its body is dissolved. Shame you can't do anything. Literally.

I wish that Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton both disappear from the face of the Earth.

[Delthion]

Granted! Unfortunately, since both of those people are supported by many people, they all gather together to make life for you as painful as possible, since they know that you caused the disappearance of their candidates!

I wish for a wish from the magic fish!

[LT Sandpaw]

Grant-ed! You got exactly one wish from a magic fish. Unfortunately for you that wish from the fish was simply wishful thinking. Therefor nothing happened.

I wish this smiley face would get turned upside down.

[Delthion]

Granted! But unfortunately your face is turned upside down as well. This results in much bullying, you family turns on you and you live a persecuted life. You are coined the Orangutan Man and live in the jungle for the rest of your life, suffering many painful spider bites, and the terrible humidity, you are finally killed by a rampaging Gorilla family.

I wish for an incorruptible wish for anything that I want that comes true!

[Groddil]

Granted! Unfortunately, as you are wondering what your incorruptible wish will be, you accidentally think.
"I wish I knew something to wish for."
Your incorruptible wish accepts this, so now you know what to wish for... But no way to get it.

[LT Sandpaw]

Granted! Before you can say anything your wish is granted to the fullest! Immediately the world crumbled into nothingness and your life flashes before you eyes. You get to watch as everything you know and love gets torn to pieces in a wave of terrifying and horribly gruesome ways. It gets increasingly worse as it goes on and then thirty minutes later it is all over.

Suddenly you are floating in nothingness, there is no light so you cannot even see yourself. A quick pull at your naval and suddenly everything you just witnessed reverses letting you watch as blood, dirt, flesh, and stone reforms all around you. The world is contorted but once again thirty horrifying minutes later everything is back the way it was. You have exactly one second to try and scream a warning to your family before it begins all over again. The screams fill your ears and once again the world begins to crumble into nothingness.

This process repeats indefinitely, slowly you go mad, foaming at the mouth, with your eyes growing bloodshot from lack of sleep. You are doomed to reside in this madness for evermore!

I wish for a good nights sleep.